Maybe, This Time
by Kajima
Summary: Makoto had promised himself. He'd be there for Haru, through thick and thin. He'd be his rock, his safehouse, his shoulder to lean on. He'd be a friend - and maybe, one day, Haru would realise how he felt. Maybe he would love him back. Unrequited!MakoHaru with a splash of possessive!Rin.


**A/N: This was another fill I wrote for a prompt over at the kink meme, "Makoto had always been there for Haru, but nothing he ever did had been good enough to get Haru to love him. Rin and Haru were soulmates. (Added by me: Makoto knows all of this, only to be told by Rin to back off)"**

**It's short and painfu- uhh, I mean sweet. Enjoy.**

**Warnings: Heartbreak.**

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**Maybe, This Time**

Makoto had known since they were kids, that the feelings he harboured for Haru were beyond that of friendship. He had known, but he had been scared. Not wanting to lose his most important person, he hadn't confessed, hadn't allowed his eyes or his hands to linger too long - hadn't done anything that would make the other boy even suspect that maybe, just maybe, his heart ached every time he looked at him. So, he had promised himself. He'd be there for Haru, through thick and thin. He'd be his rock, his safehouse, his shoulder to lean on. He'd be a friend - and maybe, one day, Haru would realise how he felt. Maybe he would love him back.

As soon as he had appeared, though, that had all changed. Makoto knew as soon as the new boy had dived into the pool next to Haru, as soon as he had opened his mouth, as soon as he threw an arm around Haru's shoulder as though they had been together for years - that it was over. Makoto couldn't be the one.

"Nanase" soon turned into "Haru", and Rin had joined their little group in no time. Makoto didn't hate him for it, he couldn't even dislike him - not when Rin made Haru's eyes light up brighter than anyone else.

He had said it once. He and Haru had been sitting on the ocean shore after a day at the beach after the others had gone home, the waves lapping at their feet. "Rin's amazing, isn't he." He had started, watching to see Haru's reaction. When the boy only nodded, Makoto had continued.

"You know, Haru, when you're talking to Rin, you look like you've seen open water." At that, Haru had spun his head around to look at Makoto, before turning back to the ocean, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"That's because..." Haru had eventually said, making Makoto's shoulders tense, his fingers digging into the sand at his sides. "Talking to him is like swimming."

Makoto knew better than anyone, that Haru and swimming were two things that could not exist apart.

But then Rin had left, gone in a matter of days, and for a while, Makoto couldn't bear to look at Haru. Despite the veil of nonchalance that always surrounded him, Makoto could tell. Haru was suffering. That's when he realised - this was when Haru needed him most. So he had stuck to him like glue, distracted him with ideas of things to do - but not swimming, Haru no longer had his water - or even just conversation. He avoided any sore spots, never said no, spoiled Haru like a child.

That was why he couldn't say no when Haru had asked him to stay over. He had laid on the futon on the floor, next to Haru's bed, awake the entire night, listening to his breathing, trying to resist the urge to just look at him as he slept.

It was why he hadn't pulled away when Haru had kissed him - just once, just lightly, but enough to leave Makoto distraught and sleep deprived for weeks - despite knowing that Haru was just upset, just lonely, just in need of comforting contact with another person. Perhaps, in that moment, Haru had even imagined him to be Rin. Makoto still had that thought sometimes, even now.

Makoto had agreed to pretend it had never happened, and it hadn't happened since. The days had passed quickly, and things had eventually come to be how they had been, up until just a few days ago. Haru could swim again, but not competitively. His eyes would light up when Makoto suggested ideas of places he could swim, he would eat the food Mako made him, he would even talk to people outside of their friendship group, sometimes. He had changed, little by little - but one thing had remained constant.

There was no one else for Haru but Rin. No one could take Rin's place in his heart.

And then he had come back. Just like that, no warning. Not a word to any of them. But when they had seen him at their old swimming club, Makoto had noticed the recognition in Haru's eyes before he had realised himself who stood before them. Then, when Rin had suggested out of nowhere that they should race, Haru had just silently followed him, leaving Makoto and Nagisa behind.

They may have been arguing now, but Makoto knew it wouldn't be too long. Just a little time to talk, to be around each other, and they'd be back to how they were - no, more than that.

Makoto knew that better than anyone. Which is why he didn't need Rin stood in front of him as he was right now, acting as though Makoto had stolen something that belonged to him. The other boy's eyes were narrowed in a venomous glare, teeth bared as he growled out, "Haru's mine."

Makoto had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He wanted to be happy, supportive. For Haru's sake. "I know."

"You- What?" Rin faltered, clearly not expecting such a reaction. "You know?"

"Uh huh. Probably before you even realised it yourself."

"But you- you like him, don't you?"

Makoto's shoulders slumped against the wall he was stood against. He was tired of this. Maybe he should bully Rin, just a little bit. Give him the push forward he needed. "Your insecurities are showing, Rin."

"Oi! What's that supposed to mea-"

"You're right. I like Haru. Or should I say, I love Haru - not that I ever wanted to say that aloud to you, you know." He sighed, pushing himself off the wall and walking towards Rin, placing a hand on his tense shoulder. "But I won't do anything." His voice dropped as he muttered to himself. "There's no hope for me."

Makoto took a few steps past Rin, before stopping and turning around again. Rin wasn't looking at him, but Makoto knew he was listening. "I'm doing this because I want to make Haru happy. And next to unlimited access to an Olympic pool, you're the only one who can do that."


End file.
